UUUHHHHGGIODSUF OIHDFN AFIERHH!!!!!!!!!!

It's called anger management.
You should look it up.

I could go on a huge rant, which is what I really want to do, but I have self control.

I'm good now.

Emotional

I caved. The stress and fear of everything in my life has finally got to me. I cried guys, I really cried. Now, don't ask me about it because I don't want to talk about it and it might make me cry again. This is kind of dumb actually but it was about my stupid report card. Both my biology and french teacher said that I need to put in more effort. My biology teacher also said that my work habits were satisfactory. This of course threw my parents over the edge. They were po'd that they would say that. SO, my mum decided to email them. Nothing bad, just wondering what I could do to improve my mark and effort. My french teacher explained to her that I need to speak more in class as well as redo a couple quizzes. She also said that it will all work out. Now here's the problem. When they get upset, or confused, my parents get angry. They told me I need to start worrying about my future and that mediocre wasn't good enough. Colleges and universities will choose the people with A's and B's first. I would like to point out that my worst mark is 67%, a C+. Big deal right? They just kept going on and on about it, making it seem like they were disappointed in me and I should be doing better. I finally just left the room because I knew I was about to cry. Then I cried my little heart out. I thought it would go unnoticed but my mum called me out to show me something. My face was blotchy, eyes were blood shot, and I had big, fat tears streaming down my face. Then they felt bad. I NEVER cry. They explained that they weren't mad at me, just mad that the teachers would say that when I work so hard. Blah blah blahhh. You know. They know school is kinda stressful right now and they told they were surprised I lasted to long! I do have to go in for french help though, the teacher suggested it.
Now I am eating chocolate :)
My mum also told me she would buy me something to cheer me up, hahah :)

10 Facts about me

1) I feel extra safe when my cat sleeps with me. It's not like he's going to do anything if something was to happen, but it's comforting to know he is there.

2) I'm afraid of change; afraid of growing up.

3) I hate sharing my feelings. Well it's not so much that I hate it, I just can't do it. I am content keeping everything bottled up inside me...sometimes.

4) I'm terrified I'll be alone forever.

5) I'm self-conscious. Not like SUPER self-conscious, but I always feel like everyone is talking about me. I wish I more comfortable in my own skin. I am my own worst enemy.

6) My passion is singing. No, I'm not the greatest but I want nothing more in life than to sing (and maybe have a career with it.) It's highly unlikely though. It's depressing watching people of all ages on youtube with such strong voices, who can write there own music and songs, and play instruments. I wish I could do all that. I have a pretty weak voice though. It makes me sad.

7) I am lazy!

8) I hate making other people upset. I live my life trying to please others. I need to learn to think for myself and make the best choices for me, not for someone else.

9) I am an excessive procrastinator and rediculously indecisive.

10) I'm a little bit insane.

PAUSE PLEASE

Hooooly! I am so stressed out. I have so much to do, there are only 3 months of high school left, time is going by so fast, like it is already April! When did this happen!?!? Life, I'd greatly appreciate it if you would pause for a couple weeks..or months. Also, I know I've said it a million times but I am such a procrastinator! My dad told me if I don't stop I'm going to end up being 40 and living under a bridge in a cardboard box because I don't have a job and forgot to go to school...mmhhm. Thanks dad, I'm so glad you have faith in me. Things I need to do: Get a job, figure out summer travel plans, make an appointment with college counsellor, practice driving, find shoes to match grad dress, get dress altered...there are more, I just can't remember, which is also a problem. Oh! I found 45 more scholarships that I can apply for too.
:(
I don't want to grow up! Seriously, I wish I was 10 again. I am not ready to graduate, I am not ready to have to fend for myself, I am definitely not ready to grow up! I'm too naive. I wish time would just pause so I can get things organized and prepare myself for everything.

SCHOLARSHIPS ARE FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!