Confused!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you ever get depressed for no reason? It's been happening to me quiet often over the past few months. I think I've figured it out. I'm in the midst of a mid life crisis - far too early I might add. I'm dead serious. I've been so confused by life. I've realized I really don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm terrible at sciences and math, yet that's what I decided to go into. I'm not enjoying it. If this was something I wanted to be doing with the rest of my life I think I would be more interested in my classes. But I'm not. I'm not interested and I'm not enjoying school. Every professor I've had has said you might think you know what you want to do, but most students end up changing their mind. I was never completely set on psych nursing, but it seemed like a reasonable option at the time. And my family was proud and happy with that option. That's why I'm so unsure about everything. My real passion is music. I know my chances of ever becoming famous is about one in one hundred billion, but I would LOVE to do something, anything with music. I really can't live without it. If I don't have my iPody  in, I'm singing in my head, or out loud (depending on the situation). I know it's not a very practical choice though. There are so many inspiring music teachers out there because it's one of the few options people have to work with music. Recording studio maybe? But there are so many programs that let you do that from home now. I'm torn between doing something I'm passionate and in love with that may not get me very far, or something practical. Something like nursing or counselling (except I have no life experience) where I'll have a secure job and will be helping people. My family will support me with whatever I do but I don't want to be that slacker kid that takes the easy way out. I'm lazy for sure, but that's not the reason I'm changing my mind. Ah, I feel so lost. I wish I could pause time and figure things out.

day twenty seven

Talk about your sibling:
My sister and I get along so well. It never used to be like this. We fought all the time. We have our occasional squabbles but not like we used to. Although there is a 5 year age difference, she is like having a best friend with me all the time. It's nice. I would not be sane without her. The only bad thing is now she is starting to fit into my clothes and shoes....i'm not willing to share.

day twenty six

Your religious beliefs:
I'm not a super religious person. I just kinda believe what I want to believe. I believe in God and heaven but I believe in spirits as well. It's not something I grew up believing. I think I only started when my grandma started taking classes on how to be a medium. There are so many people that are skeptical about this kind of stuff but believe it with all my heart. I've experienced it. I think it's so neat, not necessarily that spirits are always around us, but they are always watching out for us. I love the fact that I have my own "guardian angel" in a way. When I do pray, it makes it seem so much more worthwhile. I also think it's incredible that people have the ability to communicate with spirits. It's crazy, but a nice thing to believe in.

day twenty five

10 ways to win your heart:

1. Love and accept me. Craziness and all!

2. Always be there to listen.

3. Be considerate of people's feelings

4. Honesty is a must.

5. Have a sense of humor and love to laugh.

6. Don't change around your friends.

7. Call me cute names (British boy especially)

8. Musical ability gets me every time (guitar, piano, voice)

9. A sincere, sweet smile always wins me over.

10. Make things interesting. It doesn't take a lot to excite me.



*DON'T BE NEEDY!

day twenty four

Things you want to say to 5 different people:
1. Sometimes you drive me crazy, but I don't know what I'd do without you

2. You're my other half. I'm not complete without you.

3. I love and miss you terribly. But things will never completely change :)

4. You're so sweet. I miss it.

5. You are extraordinary. I'm so proud.

day twenty three

Something you always think "what if.." about:

I often wonder "what if I hadn't been shy in highschool." Or "what if I hadn't met the friends I have now." How would my life be different? Would I have had more experiences? Maybe, but if I could I don't think I'd change anything.

day twenty two

10 things about you people don't really expect:

1. I love to have dance parties!
2. I'm really quite crazy
3. Laughing is probably my favourite thing ever
4. I hate not having music with me
5. I'm happy 97% of the time
6. Like Mia, I'm quite boy crazy as well!
7. I'm self conscious
8. I'm the biggest procrastinator ever
9. When I'm not at school, I spend all my time singing
10. I am weird.

day twenty uno

Something you can't seem to get over:

I am not quite sure what to say about this. Nothing that dramatic, exciting or extravagant has happened to me. In the wise words of Mia, "I can't get over that I have such a great friend named Mia." Yeah! I can't get over how awesome my friends are :)

day twenty

The last argument you had:

I don't remember....i'm a lover, not a hater! Maybe with myself? Maybe about my sis touching my 1D cd LOL! Just kidding

day nineteen

Something that never fails to make you feel better:
Hahah you guys are going to hate me...
ONE DIRECTION <3

Honestly though, their music just lifts my spirits. So does their craziness. I feel like I can relate to all of them, so I can actually spend hour upon hour watching their videos or listening to their music.

Before them, music is the one thing that never fails me.

Of course my family and friends, but since I'm not much of a talker, my iPod is what I turn to first.

day eighteen

disrespecting parents:

This is seriously dumb. If you disrespect your parents you are dumb. Your parents gave you life. End of story.

day seventeen

Things that make you scared:
What am I not scared of!?

The obvious:
Scary movies/shows (this includes CSI because I am a big fat baby)
The dark (in certain situations)

I'm also afraid of being alone forever
Sometimes I worry about not being able to have kids
Today I was actually scared thinking about what I wanted to do with my life...

So yeah, a lot of things

day sixteen!

3 things you are proud of about your personality:

This is kinda tough because I'm not particularly fond of talking about myself but I guess I'm proud that:

1. I'm trustworthy. If you ask me to keep something private, I will not tell anyone. Ever.
2. I'm not judgemental. I'm going to be honest, I used to be but I think it was because of the people I was hanging out with.
3. I'm caring. I truly care about peoples feelings. I'm also really easygoing. I can have fun doing anything.

day fifteen

The best thing that happened to you this week:

Probably today, because school is over for the week haha. Just kidding. Definitely, without a doubt finally getting a copy of One Direction's CD!!!!! I have a ridiculous obsession with them but I don't even care. The second best thing, was Liam (on twitcam) saying hello to 'georgie' from Canada! :D

Hi, i guess i'm back